Spoken Like a True Lady

February 2, 2013

My sister recently sent me an interview done with Dakota Fanning by  Glamour Magazine for this upcoming March, and I must say I was refreshingly surprised!  To hear someone who stands upon such a large stage, maintain such a refined, confident and introspective concept about dating, was, for lack of a better word, cool.

Since (who knows when it began), there have been so many books and films telling us how to bate, catch and date; like the film, ‘Think Like a Lady act Like a Man,’ whose main premise is to give “insight” into the male mind. Maybe instead of incessantly calculating and game playing, dating everyone who bats an eye at us, and treating men or woman as a cliché and stereotype, we’d find more long-term satisfaction in dealing with people on a one-on-one human to human basis.

I realize that there are stereotypes that are true and that for some, reading these books, and watching these films “helps” them navigate the dating world, but I think that all this time people spend dating others should be mostly split with time dating oneself. I’m not suggesting everyone take themselves to a dinner and movie every night (although on occasion not a bad idea), only, that the more you are truly acquainted with yourself, the less you would need to browse the book store to know what types of books you like.  I’m not saying dating is bad, in fact for some, it’s the only way they distinguish between what they want and don’t want.  I just think that less is more, and that in the end, it should really be about the quality of humans that you are selecting in-verse of the quantity. The fact is,  if you get to truly know yourself really well, you won’t have to sift through so many people because you will know what you want when you meet it.

I suppose, in the world of pastries it would be tantamount to knowing that your tongue and tummy prefer to eat a delectable Crème brûlée over a bowl with a potpourri of 100 different types of sweets. While a Crème brûlée does take longer to make then a bunch of cookies, it is well-worth the wait.  Or as my sister says when we are at restaurants deciding on which dessert, “Why am I going to eat a bunch of jello when I know I want Crème brûlée. Even though I’m hungry, I’ll wait for the best desert.”



Knowing what you want and waiting for it, will lend quicker to a satisfied palate, and perhaps is the best recipe for an everlasting love. The truth is, there’s nothing silly, strange, or naive about a perspective that sits in the belly of knowing who you are,  what you want and waiting for exactly that. I find her answer to be quite temperate and thoughtful in a world that can be so quick, sticky and gluttonous. Perhaps I’ll sum it up with words of Saint Augustine, who said it best with,” Patience is the companion of wisdom”

The following is an excerpt from Glamour Magazine:

Dakota Fanning may be entwined in “The Twilight Saga” franchise, but she has nothing to do with any of the romantic drama that surrounds many of its other stars off-camera. In fact, she doesn’t even date.

“I don’t really date,” the 18-year-old says in the March issue of Glamour.

Wait, what?! What kind of teenager isn’t interested in dating?

“I have a weird vision of relationships because my parents have known each other since second grade, and they got married right out of college,” she explains. “I’ve always thought that’s what it’s supposed to be like, and if it’s not, then I don’t want to waste my time on it. Even when I was 14, I was like, ‘I’m not gonna marry this person. What’s the point of doing it?’ It’s not me being naive. I just know what it’s supposed to be like. And I think until I feel that, I cannot be bothered.”

Ever the surprising young woman, Dakota also credits her 14-year-old sister, Elle, as being an inspiration.

“She’s very uninhibited and will try pretty much anything,” Dakota says. “Even the way she dresses — she dresses totally for herself. She risks being made fun of … by me, which I sometimes do, because I’m an older sister! But I totally admire her and think she’s very cool.”



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