Spoken Like a True Lady

February 2, 2013

My sister recently sent me an interview done with Dakota Fanning by  Glamour Magazine for this upcoming March, and I must say I was refreshingly surprised!  To hear someone who stands upon such a large stage, maintain such a refined, confident and introspective concept about dating, was, for lack of a better word, cool.

Since (who knows when it began), there have been so many books and films telling us how to bate, catch and date; like the film, ‘Think Like a Lady act Like a Man,’ whose main premise is to give “insight” into the male mind. Maybe instead of incessantly calculating and game playing, dating everyone who bats an eye at us, and treating men or woman as a cliché and stereotype, we’d find more long-term satisfaction in dealing with people on a one-on-one human to human basis.

I realize that there are stereotypes that are true and that for some, reading these books, and watching these films “helps” them navigate the dating world, but I think that all this time people spend dating others should be mostly split with time dating oneself. I’m not suggesting everyone take themselves to a dinner and movie every night (although on occasion not a bad idea), only, that the more you are truly acquainted with yourself, the less you would need to browse the book store to know what types of books you like.  I’m not saying dating is bad, in fact for some, it’s the only way they distinguish between what they want and don’t want.  I just think that less is more, and that in the end, it should really be about the quality of humans that you are selecting in-verse of the quantity. The fact is,  if you get to truly know yourself really well, you won’t have to sift through so many people because you will know what you want when you meet it.

I suppose, in the world of pastries it would be tantamount to knowing that your tongue and tummy prefer to eat a delectable Crème brûlée over a bowl with a potpourri of 100 different types of sweets. While a Crème brûlée does take longer to make then a bunch of cookies, it is well-worth the wait.  Or as my sister says when we are at restaurants deciding on which dessert, “Why am I going to eat a bunch of jello when I know I want Crème brûlée. Even though I’m hungry, I’ll wait for the best desert.”



Knowing what you want and waiting for it, will lend quicker to a satisfied palate, and perhaps is the best recipe for an everlasting love. The truth is, there’s nothing silly, strange, or naive about a perspective that sits in the belly of knowing who you are,  what you want and waiting for exactly that. I find her answer to be quite temperate and thoughtful in a world that can be so quick, sticky and gluttonous. Perhaps I’ll sum it up with words of Saint Augustine, who said it best with,” Patience is the companion of wisdom”

The following is an excerpt from Glamour Magazine:

Dakota Fanning may be entwined in “The Twilight Saga” franchise, but she has nothing to do with any of the romantic drama that surrounds many of its other stars off-camera. In fact, she doesn’t even date.

“I don’t really date,” the 18-year-old says in the March issue of Glamour.

Wait, what?! What kind of teenager isn’t interested in dating?

“I have a weird vision of relationships because my parents have known each other since second grade, and they got married right out of college,” she explains. “I’ve always thought that’s what it’s supposed to be like, and if it’s not, then I don’t want to waste my time on it. Even when I was 14, I was like, ‘I’m not gonna marry this person. What’s the point of doing it?’ It’s not me being naive. I just know what it’s supposed to be like. And I think until I feel that, I cannot be bothered.”

Ever the surprising young woman, Dakota also credits her 14-year-old sister, Elle, as being an inspiration.

“She’s very uninhibited and will try pretty much anything,” Dakota says. “Even the way she dresses — she dresses totally for herself. She risks being made fun of … by me, which I sometimes do, because I’m an older sister! But I totally admire her and think she’s very cool.”




January 1, 2013

HERE’S TO US! ;  )

LoVe &








Well, that and …….



I don’t really formally celebrate thanksgiving due to historical inaccuracies. Well, there’s that and the whole Black Friday thing;  A time dedicated to the gluttony of consumerism and the emptying of what the true holiday spirit should really be about. But I will say, if the date has become about a bunch of people spending their time to be with the ones they love & commit their thoughts to being thankful, than, that in itself, is something to celebrate. You always get more of what you want and need in life when you are in a constant mode of appreciation, not just one day but every day. So whether you have a lot, a little, or have someone or are alone, find something, anything to be thankful for. Consistency of thought as it regards to recognizing what I have is what I aim for.  So here’s a list of 24 things  I’m thankful for, in no particular order.

1. Mis Padres y mi Familia

2. Mis Amigos



3.  YOU- To everyone who comes to my blog, reads and clicks. I really appreciate it.

4. For every day I wake to see the sun come up, I know I have purpose and that my work here is not done. And yes I do this Shirly song and dance EVERY MORNING hahah

5. Hot Coffee or Cocoa & writing I am about to move the world through words.

6. Sometimes I feel like I’m trying so hard towards the balanced manifesting of my dreams that I am grateful for the moments when I know that I’ve done enough.

7. Jellyfish. Why? I don’t know, just because they’re beautiful and they artistically inspire me and they are strange creatures. For instance, Jellyfish have been around since before the dinosaurs existed, the biggest jellyfish ever found had a diameter of 8 feet and its tentacles were as long as half the length of a football field, and the growth of a jelly fish NEVER stops, and they are 95% water, and some types, up to 98%.

8. The woods

Even the snowy kind

9. When I meet someone that I feel comfortable enough to reveal all of myself ..and I don’t regret it later 🙂

10. When I feel I’ve tried everything, there’s no greater feeling than infinite possibilities re-shaping itself in a way that I can see and embrace. A shift towards an enlightened perspective that helps me move forward, I am always grateful for.

11. The color red- Since I was a kid it’s never failed to make me happy! Fall, lips, paint, dresses, you name it, if I was born in the form of color it would most definitely be red.

12. Signs that lift and encourage me, especially when I need it the most.

13.  Being in the middle of a busy day and finding the time to lie down, look up and day dream.

14. Neo-Classical Interior Design

15. Handwritten letters & Typewriters

16.  When something I’ve been working for comes my way or when something really lovely happens and I get butterflies in my tummy. Or sometimes it can be just those little wonderful moments where hope presents itself in the form of a film, art, admirable recognition from people you respect or even from a stranger. Or sometimes all it takes is a simple song from jazz crooners like Sam Cooke, Shirley Bassey, Ottis Redding, Louie Armstrong, Julie London, Nina Simone, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald or Harry Connick Jr. (who I want to sing at my wedding) that make me feel all excited and hopeful about life.

16. Indian Sari’s

17. Rebellious dogs haha

18. The stillness of the night right before I nod off.

19. Lace & Detailed Embroidery

 Amazingggg BerqclE!

20. The Audrey Tautou CoCo Channel Commercial and the Levi Commercials because they inspire me in every way.

21. Oversized sweaters, long or short skirts w/ pockets, long socks, hats and headbands!


22.Birds nests

23. Imagination & Dreams

24. FIlm Film Film! From as long as I can remember I always knew that film was a huge vehicle in which my energy is meant to travel. I’m to do great things in film.


When I was a kid, I used to sit around for hours upon hours and contemplate the nature of the world, particularly trying to wrap my head around humans, dreams, space and time all while accidentals inducing myself into my own silly little mini-headaches. I used to and still find myself in moments where existence seems strange. I’ve always been so curious about how everything works, finding the detailed peculiarities of all that I encounter to be amazing yet spooky all at once. My mind sometimes works as a gold fish (they have a 3 second memory) with every time that I travel, the same feeling and thought re-ocurring yet feeling like it’s the first time I’ve ever run across the idea of “Man, it’s so crazy, there are just so many people on this planet, all with an individual mission to create and be seen.”  I don’t know, every time I think I get it all, I’m spun around only to find something forign to my coding that makes me feel as though I know nothing at all.

Anyways I like random, mythical, and strange facts that make my head bend, so on this Halloween, I thought I’d share with you some SPooktastic stuff!


Newborn babies and the water:


I’m Dreaming of….

Information & images compliments of website Bored Panda
“During the Roman Era some dreams were even submitted to the Roman Senate for analysis and dream interpretation. They were thought to be messages from the gods. Dream interpreters even accompanied military leaders into battles and campaigns! In addition to this, it is also known that many artists have received their creative ideas from their dreams.”

Here are some spooktastic facts about dreams

1. You Forget 90% of Your Dreams

Within 5 minutes of waking half of your dream is forgotten. Within 10, 90% is gone.

2. Blind People also Dream

People who became blind after birth can see images in their dreams. People who are born blind do not see any images, but have dreams equally vivid involving their other senses of sound, smell, touch and emotion.

3. Everybody Dreams

Every human being dreams (except in cases of extreme psychological disorder). If you think you are not dreaming – you just forget your dreams.

4. In Our Dreams We Only See Faces That We already Know

Our mind is not inventing faces – in our dreams we see real faces of real people that we have seen during our life but may not know or remember. We have all seen hundreds of thousands of faces throughout our lives, so we have an endless supply of characters for our brain to utilize during our dreams.

5. Not Everybody Dreams in Color

A full 12% of sighted people dream exclusively in black and white. The remaining number dream in full color. Studies from 1915 through to the 1950s maintained that the majority of dreams were in black and white, but these results began to change in the 1960s. Today only 4.4% of the dreams of under-25 year-olds are in black and white. Recent research has suggested that those changing results may be linked to the switch from black-and-white film and TV to color media.

6. Dreams are Symbolic

If you dream about some particular subject it is not often that the dream is about that. Dreams speak in a deeply symbolic language. Whatever symbol your dream picks on it is most unlikely to be a symbol for itself.

(bamboo for h.koppdelaney)

7. Emotions

The most common emotion experienced in dreams is anxiety. Negative emotions are more common than positive ones.

8. You can have four to seven dreams in one night.

On average you can dream anywhere from one or two hours every night.

9. Animals Dream Too

Studies have been done on many different animals, and they all show the same brain waves during dreaming sleep as humans. Watch a dog sleeping sometime. The paws move like they are running and they make yipping sounds as if they are chasing something in a dream.

10. Body Paralysis

Rapid eye movement (REM) sleep is a normal stage of sleep characterized by rapid movements of the eyes. REM sleep in adult humans typically occupies 20-25% of total sleep, about 90-120 minutes of a night’s sleep.

During REM sleep the body is paralyzed by a mechanism in the brain in order to prevent the movements which occur in the dream from causing the physical body to move. However, it is possible for this mechanism to be triggered before, during, or after normal sleep while the brain awakens.

11. Dream Incorporation

Our mind interprets the external stimuli that our senses are bombarded with when we are asleep and make them a part of our dreams. This means that sometimes in our dreams we hear a sound from reality and incorporate it in a way. For example you may be dreaming that you are in a concert while your brother is playing a guitar during your sleep.


12. Men and Women Dream Differently

Men tend to dream more about other men. Around 70% of the characters in a man’s dream are other men. On the other hand, a woman’s dream contains almost an equal number of men and women. Aside from that, men generally have more aggressive emotions in their dreams than the female lot.

13. Precognitive Dreams

Results of several surveys across large population sets indicate that between 18% and 38% of people have experienced at least one precognitive dream and 70% have experienced déjà vu. The percentage of persons that believe precognitive dreaming is possible is even higher – ranging from 63% to 98%.

*Precognition, also called future sight, refers to perception that involves the acquisition of future information that cannot be deduced from presently available and normally acquired sense-based information.

14. If you are snoring, then you cannot be dreaming.

This fact is repeated all over the Internet, but I’m a bit suspicious whether it’s really true as I haven’t found any scientific evidence to support it.

15.You can experience an o r g asm in your dream

You can not only have s e x as pleasurable as in your real life while dreaming, but also experience an o r g a s m as strong as a real one without any wet results. The sensations felt while lucid dreaming (touch, pleasure and etc..) can be as pleasurable and strong (or I believe even stronger) as the sensations experienced in the real world.

   OH! and we can’t forget, Minnie, you know she had a heart as big as a whale!

  A New Year is coming, I think a little pre-retching is called for. I’m gonna’ sit while I stand on me box if you don’t mind…

I spent a train ride today trying to hold back tears over how grateful I feel for who I am and where I am  now, and for the courage, ability & most importantly the support to, simply put, pursue whatever, which just so happens to be my destiny. But above all, I’m grateful because I know what’s in store for me. I can FEEL it and it’s goosebump and tear inducing, as it is greater than me.

I mainly wrote this to alleviate some pressure and also because I have some friends & family, who like me, are working to manifest this feeling this gift, with honor, dedication, integrity, goodness and solid, honest hard work. Together we have to work every day in believing and acting solely upon the rhythm of a feeling, ignoring our minds fragmented limited perception of “reality,”and “boldy go where no man has gone before.” (Yes I stole a line from Jean Luc Picard..yes from STAR TREK…so vhatt!) It’s going to be a New Year, so lets get inspired, shall we!

So here’s my internal contemplation expounded & painted in letters:

(Inner voice..Ehe eh ehem!)

 Man, you better do EVERYTHING YOU CAN and then some to become what you are meant to BECOME, and once you do, let good be not good enough, be GREAT! And then OOOZZE your GREATNESS on to every walk of life you come across and even those you may never meet. And never mind the naysayers including yourself sometimes; they/you are only afraid of greatness. If you want to hear something moving, change the channel and dance to the beat of your own soul. There is no tomorrow, there’s right now and that’s all that exist, RIGHT NOW, DO it Now, FEEL it now, THINK it now,  and most importantly BELIEVE  it now. Do EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO BELIEVE IN YOU RIGHT NOW. Do not wish for it or hope for it, you don’t have to, IT ALREADY EXISTS INSIDE OF YOU.  It is kinetically bustling in you, above you, around you; the world breathes in and out in anticipation for you to soar. This kind of power was not meant to be contained but UNFOLDED, EXPLODED, SCREAMED and TRANSMITTED via SELFLESS INFECTIOUS pathways that leave the world a little or a lot better than it was before you came. Mediocrity is not comfortable; mediocrity is the break that leads to the death of an infinitely expanding soul. Do the best you can and when you feel you can’t, take a breather, a kindergarden drink milk and eat cookies just because breather, and then start again and do the best you can.

 I ask to not be taken from this feeling filled place, no matter how painful it may seem at times in my misinterpretation of events, but for the courage to transfix the world with my brilliant, noble, gracious and honorable gifts.

When in doubt DECLARE to yourself & to the world:

 It’s done, even bigger & better than I imagined, It’s done. As I believe it, as I picture it, in all its beauty and graceful perfection and splendor, it’s done!   I am grateful for the undulating waves that I brave every day, as I become one wave closer to the palpable manifestation of my prodigiousness.

…..and then just take a breath, smile & relax in the grate/gracefulness of KNOWING.


NOw Raise your glasses…..ok well since it’s not New Years quite yet, maybe just raise the nearest item next to you…yessss a pencil will have to suffice.

To: My bud bud & Professional Athlete Melanie Hardy- It’s DONE….YOU HAVE ALREADY QUALIFIED FOR 2012 IN THE 800 & YOU ARE ONE OF THE TOP RUNNERS IN THE WORLD. You work so hard and deserve the best. Your light shines, you can and will  feel it and others are warmed by your glow….oh and um you did it all with a funky too cool for school hairdo. I  dear say the mohawk is gonna’ see a comeback after this Summer Olympics. 😉

To: Estrella,  your ‘simply marrrveelous darling’ fashion company, BerqclÉ LLC “It’s a household name.” (Forrest Gump …Oh soo wiseeee:) You inspire me. And yes, EVERYTHING you have worked for and then some is a comin’ so brace yeself wee laddie’.

To: My wonderful parents,  supportive siblings(cespes-patcat), ENMA (Starpar, Alpalzi- Epitome of Man’ & Nolpolzi -my partner in crime;), my cousin JBaxter (it just doesn’t get any  better than you!), Juanee Cilliers(see you on the track at this Summer Olympics:), Jessica Branker(Olympics opening ceremony crazyness Oh and Viva Mexico!:),MacKenzie Hill, Greg Nixon, Mr. Comissiong, past coaches Harley Cooper, Dave Rodda, Wayne(from health to hippie), current coache & track wizard Darrell Smith, musical poet Frank the Bodega Man, close friends, random friends and my London Crew (Stephen Burgoyne…Stepho my love, Lady Fiona, Andre Shiiii ;), Amina, Robin, Sir Simon) and my weekly unplanned “random” encounters with some of the awesome blossom (it rhymes leave it alone haha) people the world has to offer.

And finally…

To: The BELIEVER, DOERS , SUPPORTERS, MOVERS & CORE SHAKERS out there! Here’s to you, here’s to us!

A New Year is a great excuse to begin to do what you ought to be doing!

Retching complete.

Happy (a few days before) NEW YEAR!!!

With Love to Japan

March 14, 2011


By: Nicole Cleary
“Floating Gold”

This past, Friday, March 11 there was a 9.0-magnitude earthquake that hit northern Japan, generating a tsunami that has caused extensive damage.  My brother, who has been living near Tokyo for over five years with his wife and kids, was caught in Tokyo the day it happened.  A few days ago he wrote this note on Facebook about his experience. I wanted to post it on my blog because I admire his ability to embrace a moment while still being proactive. It’s not that everyone should or should not feel this way; it’s just a different way of looking at things. It’s difficult to have a light heart in the midst of chaos and when everything looks and feels grim, but I find the ability to be able to grab light-heartedness from anywhere you can, an amazing ability. I appreciate his perspective and hope that when faced with traumatic events, I can too, be calm and embracing all whilst being steady, focused, and proactively determined.

I have posted this with LoVe to Japan.

28 Kilometers….

By Cecil- on Sunday, March 13, 2011 at 6:54am

….That is the distance that I walked from Tokyo (Roppongi) to Yokohama (Aobadai).   The quake hit about 245 Tokyo time while I was in a meeting with a client.   I felt it first, ignored it, kept feeling and called his attention.  We stopped, waited…listened…and felt.  The ground swelled.  We went outside and found a bunch of people kind of meandering about, looking at each other for confirmation of what everyone was thinking, “is this the big one?”  The ground kept shaking for about 6 minutes, with intermittent ground swells.

People started screaming.  I made my way to the highest ground I could find with no electric cables around and just enjoyed the ride.  I figured if this was the big one, it would be my only chance to participate in this AWESOME experience….so I might as well enjoy it.  Hahaha.  Every time I felt the ground swell, I was like “Yeah! Baby!”…and then I looked over at this huge office building and stopped cold, watching it sway back and forth as if rocked by a breeze. The quaking stopped.  I stood for awhile and just enjoyed the moment.  I had tried calling my wife, but line was totally dead.  Although the biggest I had ever felt in my 10 years in Japan, I did not feel it was big enough to inflict major damage in Tokyo.  Also, the way it built up gradually, it provided enough warning for people to move and get to safety, if they had a clear head.   In any case, I simply did not FEEL (in my spirit) that my family was in danger.

I went back to my meeting, excited and even a bit…disappointed…that the big one was not so big.  And then, about 5 minutes later, another one.  We darted outside again, and met the same group of neighbors, this time a bit more panicked.   The lady next door came out in her bathrobe.  I was like, “Cool.”:)   hahaha.   This time was not as strong but combined with the experience of the first, it felt just as big…standing on the ground, like I was surfing on a wave. Kawabunga dude!

After this quake, we decided to head to safer ground and walked to Aoyama cemetery.  I thought to myself, “Best place to go if we are going to die”…laughed to myself and then thought, “that’s not funny” hahaha.  (Actually, i said it to the lady next door who had changed from her bathrobe into jeans and was heading the same direction. She laughed as well, but then kind of stopped and gave me an odd look…hahahaha! I deserved it.  ANYHOW….)

When we got to the cemetery, people were gathered there and in the street, talking, texting, being scared and surprised.  My client and I finished our meeting standing…and took a snap shot to commemorate the event:  “3/11/11 at 3pm – The big one”

My next meeting was at 4 pm in Daikanayam.  I was still thinking to go but was going to be late; Trains were not running and all the phones were still dead.  I had about 5 meetings that day and was just going to stay in the city and have my meetings and hope that the trains would be running when I was ready to head home at night. I realized that I could still text, so I text my wife to see if she was ok.  She was fine and went to pick up my son, Cecil Jr., from pre-school.

But, then I stopped and thought for about 4 minutes…”what if this was just a warning?…What if this was NOT The big one and it was coming tonight?  Then it hit me, I need to get home ASAP because I have no idea what will be coming tonight and if I will be able to get home.  Then I started to survey the damage, and it occurred to me that in the worst case scenario, I might not be able to make it back home and my wife would be stuck with the kids.  That single thought was the trigger.  I decided to go home.

I thought to take a bus, but the line for the bus was about 1hr long.  Shibya was 20 min away on foot.  Decision: walk.

When I got to Shibuya station, it was flooded with people, lines everywhere and nothing was moving.  I did not know what I was going to do, but waiting in those lines was not the solution.  So I started to walk in the direction of home, thinking that I would catch a taxi…then I SAW the traffic; no movement.  I was walking pretty quickly and noticed that I was passing busses…and taxies.   And slowly it dawned on me, there was only one way to get home: Walk.

So with my PC (actually Mac Book…do I get money for the product plug?:) on my shoulder and my Alberto Rossis (plug plug) on my feet, I pounded the pavement for about 30 kilometers (about 20 Miles) to get home.  I left Roppongi roughly around 4pm and delayed about 20 min to buy water and 2 pieces of bread, so the total trip took approximately 5 hours.  I walked mostly along the 246 highway at an average pace of 6 kilometers per hour.  I got a helluva’ workout, wrote some DOPE rhymes, got to walk ON the 246, and was able to grab some quality thinking time – all good!

When I got home, all was fine with the fam.  One room was pretty bad, but all in all, not a disaster at all.  My feet were swollen and blistered, ankles were out….but I was home and my family was together.  Can’t complain at all.

I heard that a friend’s dad made a similar 18mile walk in about 11 hours!  And a friend of mine who lives in the area, made roughly the same drive on the 246 in about 8 hours…and another friend walked about 20 Kilos in 7 hours!  I wonder if I set a record!?

Right now, as we have now prepared sufficiently for another quake and have a kit ready, clothes next to the door, ready to jam on a dime, I am trying to discern fact from fiction and decide when to get out of emergency mode.

Now, after seeing the news and seeing the magnitude of what has happened, I really feel for those who have lost everything.  At the same time, I am all the more grateful that my family is safe and aim to them this way.   Once I decide what the next move is, I will inform my network of the facts that I have gathered and the decision that I have made.


Food for all people

Happy NEW Year!

January 1, 2011


When Harry Met Sally

From Love To Chile

March 1, 2010


This morning as I rolled out of bed I felt not only worried for my friends but grateful for their safety.  After hearing about the 8.8 magnitude earthquake that hit Chile, my first thoughts went to a couple  friends of mine, Lauren Williams and Aneya Fernando, who moved to Santiago a month ago.  Lauren, Aneya and I attended CSULB and worked at the school newspaper ‘The Daily 49er’ while pursuing a journalism degree.  Although I did not see much of Lauren outside the news room, I did get to see her and wish her well before she left for Chile.  Lauren is one of the best writers I know.  She has a genuine kindness to her that is felt through her smile.  She is one of the most honest people you can meet and has a streak of dedication that is to be sought and admired. They are both two incredibly beautiful and sincere people.

I have had a cold for the past couple days and this morning when I woke up, I couldn’t help but think of how lucky I was to be able to wake up in the bed I was in, deal with my cold, and take a hot shower. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have to be faced in a situation like this no matter what state or condition you are in. Young, old, feeble, strong, sick in health, there was no tell-tell sign or discriminating factors to this natural disaster; everyone has been effected.

 Lauren and Aneya have a blog, “Chillin’ In Chile,”  where they have been sharing not only their adventures to date but how the earthquake has effected them. For both of their accounts please check out their blog.   Before Lauren left for Chile she had been working for the L.A Times as an Editorial Assistant and is currently contributing to the L.A Times coverage of the earthquake. In their blog they talk about how the earthquake has effected their living situation, the visible destruction  and the overall shift of  energy they witness amongst the people.

According to the Associated Press the death toll in Chile has reached 708 people. The news is reporting that there have been 150 aftershocks measuring at 5.0 or below. This is the second largest earthquake to hit Chile. The first earthquake occurred May 22, 1960 at a magnitude of 9.5 on the Richter scale with 1,655 fatalities. 

Reading Lauren and Aneya’s blog does give a little peace of mind knowing that they are ok, but still leaves a bit of worry and concern for these two really wonderful people.   I felt compelled to write about this because when I heard about the quake and in reading their blog, I wished I could be there with them to help. I can only imagine what they and others are feeling and it pulls at the strings of my heart to read and hear of the devastation.  It’s circumstances like these that should make us all feel very grateful for the situations that we are in and the situations that we are not in.  It should make us want to be more loving and good and expressive with those emotions to all those we care about. With everything that’s going on with them in Chile, they still remain ever so grateful, and that is something to be deeply admired.

Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death.
 Omar Bradley

Lots of love to you Lauren and Aneya.

Happy Heart Day!

February 14, 2010

So it has arrived, a cacophony of clinging glasses, sighs and the sound of unusually quickly drumming hearts. The one day of the year where an excess of chocolate, roses, and Champaign is more than an expression of love, it’s practically a ceremonial procedure.  Today is Valentine’s Day; the time of year for some to show their love through grand gestures and for others to reciprocate through swooning and fuzzy feelings.

 That being said there are those that at times can feel left out, after all Valentine’s Day has paraded itself as an exclusive lovers club, well at least that what it can feel like at times.  Besides the many single people that may feel excluded, there’s also those who oppose the holiday due to the exorbitant 14$ billion price tag attached to the holiday.  According to a survey conducted in January by the National Retail Federation and BIGResearch this year’s amount spent on Valentines day will be a 13.5% decrease from 2008’s V-day amount  of 17$ billion.

I remember in elementary school we would either make or buy a box of cards for all our classmates. Even though I was little, I recall the excitement as I and some of my other classmates had as we opened our V-day Animaniacs, Looney Toones or X-Men cards hoping to have a secret admirer.  At times there was that youthful eagerness to read into the meanings of a heart candy that said “I Love you” or “kiss me.”

In middle and high school, kiss-a-grams were the “it” thing. The day before V-Day one would buy a dollar kiss-a-gram only for it to be delivered by class picked Cupids sporting cherry lipstick.  My freshman and sophomore year I remember hoping   that I would get a kiss-a-gram.  Only the disappointment of not getting one was much more frustrating than in elementary, where there was practically no frustration at all due to my ability to move on, and continue day -dreaming about  whatever movie character crush I had at the time.

Although I am quite the romantic, love dark vanilla cream chocolate, and red heart stickers, I do think that Valentine’s Day    has become a consumer driven holiday.  Mind you there is nothing wrong with celebrating it, I just think we need to go back to a time where buying something was not the first means of expressing our love.  The most important things that cannot be bought or found in any store is romance, romance, and more romance. With the economy being what it is this is the best time for creative gestures of love. 

I don’t think singles need to feel excluded either.  Although it has been championed as a couple’s holiday, the underlining meaning to Valentine’s Day is Love.  That means whether you are single this year or not, you need not feel left out this holiday.  It’s just a day dedicated to love of any kind. The love you have for your mother, father, neighbor, best-friend, or even dog.  I realize there has not been a fun undertone created for any other love besides lovers, but thats for you to make. 

You don’t have to be a love sap to enjoy the lighthearted silliness of a day excusing the most wonderful at times ridiculous displays of love.  I don’t think the day calls for expensive bouquets of roses, pounds of chocolate or diamond necklaces; but maybe we should think back to the simplicity of spending time, of lasting kisses, or pontificating love letters.

Whether the day is celebrated or not perhaps the symbolism of the day could be seen as a reminder to us on how we should be every day with those we love. Maybe see it as the New Years of Love, giving people second chances, new beginnings to how they want to go about love in their relationships with family, friends, strangers or lovers.

Sometimes the best way to say I love you is as simple as a gaze, hold and a kiss. 

If nothing else let the day remind you that a life without love of any kind, well, is not much of a life at all.

To all of you coupled, and singled out there, Happy Valentine’s Day! 😉

Sex Degrees of Separation

September 23, 2009

The article below is a breaking news story reported by The Straits Times that discusses how Lloydspharmacy, a British pharmacy chain,  has created a calculator that reveals the amount of  sexual partners one has had in order to promote sexual health.

The average British man claims to have actually slept with nine people, while women put the figure at 6.3, giving an average of 7.65. — PHOTO: REUTERS

LONDON – THE average British man or woman has slept with 2.8 million people – albeit indirectly, according to figures released Wednesday to promote awareness of sexual health.

A British pharmacy chain has launched an online calculator which helps you work out how many partners you have had, in the sense of exposure to risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STIs).

The ‘Sex Degrees of Separation’ ready reckoner tots up the numbers based on your number of partners, then their previous partners, and their former lovers, and so on for six ‘generations’ of partners.

The average British man claims to have actually slept with nine people, while women put the figure at 6.3, giving an average of 7.65.

‘When we sleep with someone, we are, in effect, not only sleeping with them, but also their previous partners and their partners’ previous partners, and so on,’ said Ms Clare Kerr, head of sexual health at Lloydspharmacy.

‘It’s important that people understand how exposed they are to STIs and take appropriate precautions including using condoms and getting themselves checked out where appropriate.’ — AFP